two

Walk out in wet fields
sun setting fire to rain water in the ruts.
Follow hoof prints of a white calf into trees
to a pasture higher up where long grass whispers

Jesus saves Jesus saves.

Black crows caw from oak trees in the hollow wood
make me feel a hollow in my chest
the size of a fist.

Below me red furrows in dusk
a field like a woman with streams of menstrual blood.
I walk till I am thirsty then kneel to drink water
the color of fire and blood
from a hoof print of the white calf.

From here I see the rent house built of field stone where Shelley is kneading dough again.
The rock porch where copperheads like to sun themselves.
Suddenly both hands are beside my mouth
lungs letting out bursts of air that sound like crow caws
from the hollow inside me!

Dogs in all directions lift up their heads and look into trees.


three

Something is wrong with the pregnant cow.
She walks in circles bellowing!
Looks like something hard sticking out behind her.
She lies down gets up!
I walk over see the hoof of her calf coming out.
She lies down in pain again!

Run to the road yell at an old farmer driving his tractor to town.
Shows me how to put both hands in her
take hold of the calf’s head pull it in place.
Then we pull together!
Shelley comes running out of the house
we all pull on the calf’s legs.
The farmer says sometimes he hooks calves up to his tractor
and pulls
but the calf shoots out like Ananda my daughter
all blue and white membrane and blood!
The cow gets up licks out the eyes of her calf
licks out his nose and mouth

Everybody is happy!

She nudges the calf to get up milk leaking out her udder
everybody is happy!


four

Then come long horns of evening
one following after another like cows to a slaughter barn.
Crow caws flatten over pond water and are carried
deep in earth.
I get up in the dark stars falling ripe like figs in the bible.
I walk around the rent house knowing ten years before that I
will lose everything
be picked up by county cops walking towards Texas
an oak bow strung across my chest
a quiver full of hand whittled arrows
shouting

“I am the white calf! I am the Mother of the calf!
I am the crow caw!”

Everybody laughing!